Maybe that is the only saving grace here - the calendar. With enough dates still undecided, the opportunities to right the S.S. Lou are still plentiful. But thinking rationally - as we are trying to do - isn't it conceivable that we will be listening to the same cries on July 3rd? August 3rd? The Cubs, as currently constructed, have numerous flaws - many of them potentially fatal. Pick your poison: The dust collecting on Aramis Ramirez's bats, the fall of the house of Derrek Lee, Geovany Soto and the Case of the Missing Offense, or a bullpen that has a nasty habit of not being able to get the opposing team out. All good candidates to be sure.
There is one abysmal average, however, that you won't find as you scroll through the morning stats online: Cub GM Jim Hendry is batting roughly .000 in 2009. He is like a Craps player that can't hit his point. Hell, he can't even set a point. He's stuck on the Pass line and rolling snake eyes. Virtually every move he has made to bring more talent to his two-time division winner has crapped out.
Don't believe me? Let's look at some mid-term grades for Principal Jim's Class of 2009:
Milton Bradley - 118 AB, .220 AVG, 5 HR, 14 RBI. "Congratulations, Mr. Bradley, you are at the head of the Delta pledge class." Just what you envisioned from your new clean-up hitter, right? Throw in the predictable muscle tweek or two as well as the emotions of a 3-year-old and his presence has been nothing short of pure joy! He is currently spending time arguing about how the world is out to get him and nursing his latest hamstring pull/hurt feelings.
Aaron Miles - 98 AB, .250 OBP, .204 AVG. Currently spending the first part of his summer on the DL. Remember, he was going to help fill the void vacated by Mark DeRosa's departure AND possibly lead off! (Go ahead, drink it all in Chicago.)
Kevin Gregg - 22.1 IP, 24 H, 13 ER, 5.24 ERA. You might want to try new glasses, Kev. Currently throwing batting practice fastballs during games that actually count. He is making Joe Borowski look like Dennis Eckersley. "Cub fans, give it up for your 2009 closer!"
Aaron Heilman - 23 IP, 23 H, 5.09 ERA, 16 BB, 0-for-3 in SVO. What is it with guys named Aaron? Wasn't he sore about not landing the 5th starter's gig after spring training? Hey here's an idea, Aaron: Find the same bus that drove Bobby Howry to the airport. Get on it.
A tired-but-nonetheless-true cliche' is that "the numbers don't lie." Principal Jim's 09'ers are failing. Miserably. They are not slumping; they are sucking tailpipe. Big difference. And please - don't use the uncertain ownership fiasco between King Zell and Bleacher Boy Ricketts to try and justify the underachieving. General Motors can get a bailout, but the Cubs GM cannot. All of the above moves were made before the season started, with nary a nasty smirk from Tribune owners or President Crane-ium. I am not going to be a hypocrite, either. I don't care that Hendry traded DeRosa (despite recent cries from the Faithful that he is a can't-miss, first ballot HOF'er,) nor that he failed to offer former poster boy Kerry Wood new paper. After consecutive NL Central titles with consecutive playoff flame outs, something needed to be done. Hendry took a chance and moved some pieces. Unfortunately, those pieces are lining up the North Siders to be checkmated.
Add this to the ongoing "should he or shouldn't he lead off" saga of Fonzie Soriano, the regression of the best WR in AAA Iowa - Jeff Samardzija, Carlos Marmol's inability to leap his mental hurdles and move into the closers' role, Carlos Zambrano's continued petulance, and it all points to danger on the Wrigleyville horizon.
How much starting pitching needs to be wasted before the coup d'etat occurs? Ted Lilly, Ryan Dempster, and the unsung/hard-luck Randy Wells can only keep the S.S. Lou afloat for so long. Sooner or later the 09'ers are going to have to do something, ANYTHING, to steer the ship to safe waters. If they don't, brace yourself for the iceberg. 
So as you head to the ivy-covered oasis in the coming weeks and you stare in amazement at just how un-amazing this team is, don't shout insults at Big Z, make fun of The Gregger, or throw tissues at Uncle Milty. Give a strong glare up to whatever box Principal Jim is sitting. He's probably looking at the 1Q grades and wondering the same thing you are...Will the calendar have enough dates?
